Friday, November 21, 2014

Defeat not an option

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Defeat is not an option
by Anonymous Psychometrician

It was third week of August when I decided to take the board exam. It was a struggle. Dealing out with the requirements marks the impending doom that is ahead of me. Time, energy and money we’re all essential part of the process. I also began collecting hand-out materials, PDF files, books, and everything that may help me freshen up my memory with all the essential topics that I have to review. I have to do it by myself, without a review center. It was mid-September when I finally accomplished my application, it was a relief. I didn’t realize it’s really just the beginning.

There and then, I decided to start browsing my resources. But life as you planned it doesn’t come that easy.    Juggling a full time (demanding) job and a part time job (both are unrelated to the field) gave me no chance to glimpse even a single sheet of a hand-out. I go home tired and exhausted.  I started to lose hope as the exam is fast approaching. I guess October wasn’t a good month for me, and I just want the exam to be over, pass or fail, it wouldn’t matter. I’ve learned my lesson, the hard way. Always look before you leap.

I’ve come to a realization that I will not let myself be defeated just like that. Maybe, I can give a little fight. So starting the 2nd week of October,  after work, I allot at least an hour to review. Weekends became my bestfriend too. I tried taking online quizzes, but all my scores are flunk. It was hard. Reality was hitting me. All I know is that I wasn’t fully equipped, but I was learning.

Fast forward…

A day before the exam, I’ve met my friends in Manila. Travelling back and forth would be exhausting so we decided to find a place to accommodate us. It wasn’t easy, AGAIN. After roaming around the streets of Manila we decided to stay in a not-so-accommodating-hotel (we don’t have any option anymoreL). It was around 8:30 PM when we checked-in, and all we wanted was to take a rest. No more review for the night because of the physical and mental fatigue! Oh extraneous variables!

Day of exam! Tummy ache, lack of sleep, Kaba, and all. Patong-patong. I even forgot my PRC receipt! HAHA. And the exam had begun (DON’T FORGET TO PRAY, IT HELPS). After taking Theories of Personality, I was shocked. It was difficult. The concepts were quite familiar, but I cannot seem to find the answers. ‘I SHOULD HAVE STUDIED MORE INTENTLY. I FAIL TO PREPARE’. It was a blame game. And then, overhearing other examinees that it was a not-so-difficult-test for them just added a pinch of frustration.

I took each exam nearly an hour and a couple of minutes. Two hours for Assessment (HARDCORE). I kept calm during the exam. I tried to remember everything. Analyse. Think. Shade. Skip. Go back. Shade. Skip. Guess. Shade C. Shade. Repeat. Ohhh. I was laughing at myself, really. The exam was generally difficult (considering the time of my preparation and the quality of my review). I got some sure items and a lot of not so. It’s still a good time. At least, I’ve experienced how it feels to take a board exam.

And just like that, it was over. I prayed again, that no matter what the results be, I’ll just be thankful for all the realization I’ve come to understand. I gain more than I lose. From that day, I let the world decide on the outcome. I did my best, I guess. And then I moved on.

It was midnight when I received the news about the result. I PASSED, luckily. The feeling was ecstatic. I believe that my success was partly from hard work, and partly from luck. I didn’t give up, I fought, and now I am a victor of my own battle.