Saturday, November 15, 2014

Being branded as smart

Me with my mother taken right after the
graduation rites
Being branded as smart
by Alvin V. Baltazar

I recently graduated this April 2014 from Universidad De Manila during that commencement exercise I am one of the few to receive a Latin honor and I'm very thankful for that, yet I know it comes with a lot of expectations from me.

As early as January 2014 I have decided to take the board exam because I wasn't been confident enough in the skills I have plus the fact that most of the jobs I see requires at least 21 years old and by that time I have just turned 19 years old that month ago. Even though I know that I have good credentials, as an honest admission I want to be more qualified. In preparation, I enrolled in a review center and use my free time to settle all the requirements I needed, and in that event I need to go back and forth in our school. Most of the people I knew there from my professors, registrar clerk and even my friends that still studying knew I will take the board exam and expect that I will pass the board exam because I am "smart". Being branded as smart wasn't easy as many people thought, it has advantages and disadvantages. Advantage because generally they recognize you and your capabilities yet disadvantage as they expect more from you. I am that easy-going student who wants the company of my friend and never have been fond of reading. I am just like every normal students, it wasn't a different story for me. As the review program starts I realize I have many things that I don't know, I'm overwhelmed by the fact that I need to study not just review with limited span of time every books, review materials and other resources I have. There were times that I tried to read as many pages as I can but it seems that I do not even understand a bit. I definitely having hard time to get my pace for review and also there were times I never tried to open a book because of so much pressure. I tried every strategy that I know, listing down important details, listening from youtube links, discussion with my friends, answering test banks and other online resources.

Then our mock board exam came, at first I am confident that I will pass the said exam but when the results come out, I passed the set of questions in theories of personality but I failed in the remaining three subjects. I've been discouraged for a while, I even do back up plans in case of failure for the licensure exam. Then the licensure exam came, it has been difficult for me to answer it especially the psychological assessment. I've been a little bit emotional because I almost not finished the exam and I just hurriedly shaded all the items to make it on time. (I finished the Psychological Assessment Exam exactly at 4:00) Right after that someone said to me "Ang OA mo naman, e sigurado naman na papasa ka" even though I know it was meant to cheer me up, it was a little bit off for me. I've waited for a week for the result and every single night I can't sleep normally, I am contemplating how will I say it to my family in case I failed. Finally, the board result came and I passed the board but I'm not completely happy because I am the only who passed the exam among my classmates.

Bottomline, even those who are branded as smart have their doubts, weaknesses, difficult times and been discouraged, it is not always as good as it seems.