The odds in my favor

The odds in my favor

by Ruby Ann M. Agulto, RPm

Professional Teacher & Registered Psychometrician

I finished my AB Psychology from De La Salle Araneta University in 2007. Imagine kung gaano na ko katagal na graduate? Nagsimula ako bilang HR Staff sa isang private company for 4 years and I decided to change my career path and studied Education units for one semester. Sinabi ko kasi noon gusto kong magwork sa school, and I was influenced by my mother, who is connected with the Deped school for a long time. Nagsawa ako sa office work at pakiramdam ko hindi ako na-challenge noon.  After finishing my educ units, I applied for the Licensure Examination for Teachers in 2012, luckily, with God’s help I passed the said exam.  I am now a public teacher in Secondary level, became a Guidance Teacher this school year since I have units in MAED major in Guidance & Counseling in Bulacan State University.

Nalaman ko lang na natuloy na rin sa wakas ang Board Exam for Psychometrician, medyo late na dahil June ko na nalaman mula sa isa kong kakilala, I grabbed the opportunity dahil ito naman talaga ang gusto ko ang magka-license to practice my profession.  Nagdalawang isip ako na magreview center kasi nagwowork ako, pero napilit ako ng boyfriend at mom ko dahil nga sobrang tagal ko nang graduate. Wala na ako halos alam sa criteria ng disorders, hindi ko na kasi naaral at nagamit.  Nalate na rin ako ng 2 weeks sa review center na inenrollan ko pero buti natanggap pa rin ako. Isa ako sa pinakamatanda doon, halos lahat sila fresh grads pero nakipagsabayan ako.  Mula noon, nagsulat na ako sa papel, ganito rin ang ginawa ko nung nagrereview ako para sa LET, nakasulat sa papel: “I can pass the board exam, tiwala lang”  At pagkagising ko, bago rin matulog lagi ko syang binabasa, everyday na rin ang prayers ko noon kasi totoo naman na pag lagi mo pinagdadasal, at malakas ang faith mo, makukuha mo ang gusto mo. At isa pa ayaw ko talagang bumagsak, ayoko masayang ang binayad ko sa review at ang tiwala sa akin ng mga mahal ko sa buhay. Pero sa totoo lang nahirapan ako pagsabayin yung work ko saka pag-aaral kasi bilang teacher, nag-aaral ka ulit, laging ganon, at nag-uuwi ka pa rin ng work sa bahay pag hindi na kaya sa school. Imagine that?

One week before the exam, hindi na ako masyadong nagrereview, basta tiwala na lang talaga sa mantra ko, may reflection din ako sa gabi.  Naglalaro na lang ako ng tablet, I don’t want to be pressured, whenever I hear someone saying that we need to review more, or may lalabas na ganito ganyan sa exam, ayaw ko na maniwala, para sa akin relax na dapat ako, nagtiwala na lang ako sa lectures ng review center at inaral ko ulit kung paano mag-analyze ng tamang sagot.  Nagpapicture din ako sa SM North Edsa sa Hunger Games “May the odds be ever in your favor” at ginawa kong fb profile pic.

Nung mismong araw na ng exam, Oct 28&29, kampante ako sa tatlong subjects, sabi ko mukhang papasa naman, sa totoo lang mas nahirapan ako sa Licensure Exam for Teachers kaya sinabi ko sa sarili ko hindi ako pwedeng bumagsak dito, either hindi nabasa ng machine or mali ang pagkaka-analyze ko ng choices. Tiwala lang talaga, pero sa Psych Assesment feeling ko tagilid ako, kinabahan na ako, nagdasal na lang talaga ako at sa kabila ng pagkakaroon ko ng ubo at sipon that day (dala siguro ng anxiety), binalewala ko na lang, concentration saka prayers lang talaga lalo na meron akong mga hindi sure na sagot.

Days passed and on the third day, I began to browse different sites where I could find the result, once released.  When there was this rumor that the release of the exam will be on Nov. 4, sobra na akong kinabahan, kahit na para sa akin intermediate lang ang exam, nawalan ako ng kumpyansa sa Psych Assessment subject kaya naisip ko baka mahatak yun at baka sumablay ako pero, dumating na yung araw na pinakahihintay ng lahat at unang lumabas sa gmanetwork website, hindi pa ako makapaniwala. Mixed emotions. Euphoric. Hinintay ko pa talaga kinabukasan na makita mismo sa prc site yung name ko kasi baka mamaya hindi totoo. Pero ang galing talaga. Pagkatapos non nagdasal ako, nagpasalamat ako kasi tinulungan ako ni Lord, alam nya ito tlaga ang pinakahihintay ko, ang gusto ko.  With my new license, I’m looking forward na sa school magamit ko yung profession ko, sa totoo lang gamit na gamit ang pagiging Psychology grad dahil sa mga students.  Hindi ko rin sinasarado ang puso ko kung muli akong babalik sa Human Resource pero sa ngayon masarap pa rin magtrabaho sa isang eskwelahan, dahil sa bukod sa natuturuan mo ang mga bata, natututo ka rin sa kanila.

(Note: Ruby is an AB Psychology graduate from De La Salle Araneta University Batch 2007. She completed 21 units of Education at Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Valenzuela in March 2012. Ruby became a Registered Teacher on the same year with Values Education as a major and now working in Public High School in Valenzuela since June 2013.  She already have 36 units of Master of Arts in Education Major in Guidance and Counseling from Bulacan State Univerity.  Her hobbies include reading self-help books and dancing. Sigmund Freud is her favorite Psychologist and applying Psychoanalytic Approach in dealing with maladjusted students.  Also in her classroom, most of the time she applies Behaviorism theory of BF Skinner and observes its connection with Albert Bandura’s Social Learning Theory which posits that people learn from one another through imitation, observation and modeling.  She plans to finish her master’s degree in 2-3 years time.)

Being branded as smart

Me with my mother taken right after the
graduation rites

Being branded as smart

by Alvin V. Baltazar

I recently graduated this April 2014 from Universidad De Manila during that commencement exercise I am one of the few to receive a Latin honor and I'm very thankful for that, yet I know it comes with a lot of expectations from me.

As early as January 2014 I have decided to take the board exam because I wasn't been confident enough in the skills I have plus the fact that most of the jobs I see requires at least 21 years old and by that time I have just turned 19 years old that month ago. Even though I know that I have good credentials, as an honest admission I want to be more qualified. In preparation, I enrolled in a review center and use my free time to settle all the requirements I needed, and in that event I need to go back and forth in our school. Most of the people I knew there from my professors, registrar clerk and even my friends that still studying knew I will take the board exam and expect that I will pass the board exam because I am "smart". Being branded as smart wasn't easy as many people thought, it has advantages and disadvantages. Advantage because generally they recognize you and your capabilities yet disadvantage as they expect more from you. I am that easy-going student who wants the company of my friend and never have been fond of reading. I am just like every normal students, it wasn't a different story for me. As the review program starts I realize I have many things that I don't know, I'm overwhelmed by the fact that I need to study not just review with limited span of time every books, review materials and other resources I have. There were times that I tried to read as many pages as I can but it seems that I do not even understand a bit. I definitely having hard time to get my pace for review and also there were times I never tried to open a book because of so much pressure. I tried every strategy that I know, listing down important details, listening from youtube links, discussion with my friends, answering test banks and other online resources.

Then our mock board exam came, at first I am confident that I will pass the said exam but when the results come out, I passed the set of questions in theories of personality but I failed in the remaining three subjects. I've been discouraged for a while, I even do back up plans in case of failure for the licensure exam. Then the licensure exam came, it has been difficult for me to answer it especially the psychological assessment. I've been a little bit emotional because I almost not finished the exam and I just hurriedly shaded all the items to make it on time. (I finished the Psychological Assessment Exam exactly at 4:00) Right after that someone said to me "Ang OA mo naman, e sigurado naman na papasa ka" even though I know it was meant to cheer me up, it was a little bit off for me. I've waited for a week for the result and every single night I can't sleep normally, I am contemplating how will I say it to my family in case I failed. Finally, the board result came and I passed the board but I'm not completely happy because I am the only who passed the exam among my classmates.

Bottomline, even those who are branded as smart have their doubts, weaknesses, difficult times and been discouraged, it is not always as good as it seems.

Tickets for the Oath Taking now available at DLSU-Manila, UST and PAP Office

Photo courtesy of Aaron del Rosario

(Updated as of 11:42 PM, 20 November 2014)

UST Department of Psychology

33 mins · 

PRC TICKET UPDATES

Please take note of the following schedule of ticket selling for the joint Oath Taking of Psychologists and Psychometricians.
* Friday, November 21, 2014 (from 11:00 AM to 4:00 PM)
* Tuesday, November 25, 2014 (from 11:00 AM to 3:00 PM)

For Saturday (November 22, 2014) and Monday (November 24, 2014) we advise you to call first because we are already on vacation and we cannot guarantee that there will be a faculty member to assist you on those days. Our contact information is 4061611 loc. 8325. The last day of ticket selling will be on Tuesday, November 25, 2014.

Should the above schedule does not jive with your schedule, please contact PRC for other ticket options.

==========================================

(Updated as of 4:42 PM, 14 November 2014)
The following schools are now selling tickets for the  Dec 9, 2014 oath taking of Psychometricians and Psychologists. Please check early bird promo and note also the days and time those schools are open.  Tickets at PAP are now available and they cannot accept payment through the bank since tickets are sold by the PRC Board of Psychology and not by PAP. The said schools and PAP are serving as distributors of these tickets. For those who will not be able to avail of the early bird promo can purchase ticket on the day itself or at the entrance of PICC.

Both inductee (board passer) and guest tickets can be purchased from the said distributors. Some individuals are said to be buying tickets for their friends from the provinces to avail of the early bird discount.

DLSU - Manila
College of Liberal Arts
Psychology Department
Faculty Center, 4th Floor
2401 Taft Avenue
1004 Manila, Philippines
Tel. Nos.: (632) 524-4611 loc 560

Look for Ms. Sarah
Time - 8:00 AM - 12:00 noon (Monday - Friday)
           1:30 PM -  5:00 PM

( Update from the FB page of the DLSU Psych Department as 1:27PM,  14 November 2014 - check link here - https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=992858714062651&id=110548085627056 )


UST 
Department of Psychology

ATTENTION TO ALL PSYCHOLOGIST AND PSYCHOMETRIAN BOARD PASSERS. Please take note of the following:

* The tickets for the joint oath taking is now available. You may come to the department from Monday to Friday ONLY from 8:00 AM to 6:00 PM. Our office is closed on Saturdays. Tickets will be in UST starting today, November 14, 2014 until November 25, 2014 ONLY.

* According to the PRC attire for Inductees is Filipiniana and for Guests is Formal.

* Ticket prices are the same for both Inductees and Guests.

Early bird 
until November 26, 2014 for Php 1,000 per head;
From November 27, 2014 to December 4, 2014 for Php 1,200 per head;
From December 5, 2014 to December 9, 2014 for Php 1,500 per head.

* Each ticket entitles the ticket holder admission to PICC and food.
Oath taking will be on December 9, 2014 from 1:00 PM to 5:00 PM.

* Our contact number is 4061611 loc 8325.

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=1007974835886481&id=229436397073666&fref=nf



Psychological Association of the Philppines
PAP Office
Visit during office hours (Monday-Friday) - 9:00 AM - 5:00 PM
Room 210, Second Floor, Philippine Social Science Center
Diliman, Quezon City
Mobile: 0915-8477-PAP (727)
Tel./Fax: 453-8257

OF GEORGE KELLY AND FAITH

OF GEORGE KELLY AND FAITH
by Regin Raymund Dais, RPM

Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Maynila

I was graduated way back in the 1990s, with a wife and three kids, working at two jobs, and in night school studying law. Except for a year as an HR Assistant and my personal circumstances and advocacy, I have never actually practised psychology. So my decision to go for the first-ever Board Examinations for Psychologists and Psychometricians or the BLEPP last October was a leap of faith.

More than being a part of history, I was banking on the chance that the exams might be easy as the Board of Psychology would go soft on the maiden batch. As it was, almost 61% failed. It has been almost two weeks since the 2014 BLEPP and distance in time makes contemplation saner and more sober. With greatest joy, I celebrate with those who passed. With deepest sadness, I commiserate with those who did not.

When I finally got through my application at PRC, I sat down to craft my review schedule. I knew I had only one full month to review. I divided the days among the four subject areas starting with what I thought was the easiest -- Theories of Personality -- then IO Psychology and Abnormal Psychology and finally, Psychological Assessment, which was the heaviest as per the Table of Specifications (40%).

Problem was October was also the end of the semester which meant final exams in law school would be simultaneous with BLEPP. On the first day of BLEPP, I had a final exam in a major subject. I asked my professor if I can take the exams in her Thursday class; fortunately she agreed. On the second day of BLEPP, our office had an event to which I was assigned. I focused on finishing the Abnormal Psych part as fast as I could and having did was surprised at my watch reading a few minutes after 9, I ran late to the office. Fortunately again, the event finished just before 1 and I was just in the nick of time when the Psych. Assessment part was about to start.

In all these, I cannot ignore a mighty, all-knowing, all-powerful hand. Waiting for the results, I felt that seeing my name among the passers would just be confirmation. Sure, there were doubts that nagged like what if the Scantron machine fails at exactly the time when my answer sheet was on the feed or what if I forgot to shade something like the Test Set (which I actually did on the Abnormal Psych. part when I was in haste but to which the proctor called my attention as I was leaving the room). But I dispelled such thoughts believing "that all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose."

In short, I passed. As I have passed with flying colors two other board exams although at roughly lesser odds. Friends ask me what is my secret. And I always answer two words. Faith AND hard work. What if I failed? is a tougher question. But I do know the answer. You see, I was almost kicked out due to really bad grades back in college and had my own string of disappointments joining the ranks of the unemployed for some time. These later successes I have proved just one thing: Failure is never final. 

Or if you do not believe in God and go by psychology instead, hear George Kelly saying: "the interpretation of the event is more important than the event itself." Indeed, we can either rise and try again, or just roll over and die.

Source - http://regindais2.blogspot.com/

(Note: Aside from now being a Registered Psychometrician, Regin is also a Licensed Secondary Teacher and a Licensed Real Estate Broker. He placed Top 9 in the September 2012 Licensure Examination for Teachers and Top 10 in the March 2013 Real Estate Brokers Examination. Currently, he is studying Law on a scholarship at the San Sebastian College – Recoletos, College of Law while working full-time in government and teaching university on the side. He is married to a loving former nurse and with three school-aged daughters. Most importantly, Regin is a Christian and dreams of serving God more through his various skills.) 

OVERJOYED 

OVERJOYED

by AIREEN TAMAYO PARDILLO, RPm

Everyone I know who aspired to become a registered Psychometrician has been preparing for the board exam since June. Review Centers here in Davao City were already welcoming reviewees. I wanted to enroll because customarily, that is what board exam takers primarily do. Too bad the situation I am in did not permit me to. I experienced financial constraint which hampered me from enrolling in a review center. Not just some financial constraint where I cannot pay for the enrollment, but it is more of a survival game. I cannot even pay for my tuition in school! On top of that, my salary is like “Coke” (as what they say). If it’s not sakto, it’s zero. Why is that? I got 3 loans to pay for to assist my father in financing the building of our new tiny house.  It was even difficult to buy a sumptuous meal for lunch so I struggled with noodles and luncheon meat alternately.

So there, my friends started reviewing while I was busy preparing for my upcoming wedding on October 20. My fiancé was still in KSA while I was attending to all the details for our big day. I did not get me a wedding planner/organizer because we are really trying to save, again due to financial constraint. So I did all the planning (credits to my fiancé for his little efforts and for financing the wedding though :P)

It was one week before the exam, and I was not even finished reading the whole book of Theories of Personality! That’s one subject there. I ordered a reviewer from SPARK but was not able to read it because I was too busy. I work from 8am-5pm from Mondays to Fridays and attended school every Saturdays from 8am-9pm. All the details for the wedding were to be attended before I sleep. My only review time is every morning while taking a doze of early morning coffee.

For the whole month of September, I was busy doing school works. Doing reports, preparing TNA, practicing counseling skills, writing modules for every topic we had discussed in one subject.

The following month came. October 20, big day for me! From being Ms. Pardillo to Mrs. de Lara. Next day, I felt relieved (credits to all who helped us prepare the program, to MSYS team who beautifully and perfectly decorated the place for the wedding). Thank God for the successful day. So there, done with all that décor thingy, photoshoots, dress ups. Next in line, the upcoming board exam. From the bottom of my soul I wanted to be a registered Psychometrician. I was hopeful. Well, I got no other choice because if I fail the exam, I might lose my work.

Me, and my ex-boyfie (my husband) left Davao on October 26 at 7:45pm. Due to traffic, we arrived at NAIA at around 10PM. Since we are both unfamiliar with the place, and because our budget is only good for a 2-night stay in a hotel (plus food allowance), we decided to stay in the airport until October 27 early morning. We slept on the floor of NAIA, with all other passengers passing by. While having our goodnight sleep, a security guard from the airport woke us up telling us to transfer because their utility will be cleaning the vicinity. We transferred to another area, still within the lobby, and continued to doze off on the floor. We left the airport at 4am and traveled to Recto where UE is located.

I spent the whole afternoon of October 27 reviewing DSM-IV TR on my laptop while hubby was enjoying the NATGEO channel. After scanning through my e-book, I forced myself to read and answer the reviewer I got from SPARK. It was too painful for me since I know I only got so little time. It was the only time I seriously studied the board subjects. Tired, I stopped reading and said to myself “bahala na, gikapoy na ko ug basa”.

The following day. This is it! I felt jitters all over my body. I experienced stomach ache and been into the bathroom twice before I left the hotel for the first subject of the first ever board exam in the Philippines! PT was given first. I’ve studied this well. After reading question number 1, I was like, OMG! I scanned all the other questions and felt even jitterier. It was difficult. Well at least for me. The questions were tricky as well as the stems. Plus, I am not too familiar with those theories. I felt hopeless after completing the first test. After the second day, I was hopeful that I would pass the exam but I could not gather enough courage and belief for myself. Only God can do what I cannot do. What we cannot do. I continuously prayed even after the exam. We went back to Davao on November 3.

A friend told me that the results will be released on November 4, at 8pm. I painstakingly waited. I refreshed a lot of pages for a hundred times, eager to see the results until I gave up and slept. The following morning, my husband woke me up and told me that a friend in fb posted a screenshot of his name being on the list of roll of successful examinees. He then opened my account and checked first my inbox after seeing 6 notifications of messages. There it is! After opening one of the messages, we read a CONGRATULATIONS! I was in disbelief! All the pain and the tears I’d been through paid off! But hey, I was still in disbelief! Yet together we thanked God for this success! If I try to look back, I got all the reasons not to pass the board exam due to the challenges I’d been through. I cannot even describe it well here. But God has made a way and made me victorious. For the nth time, He showed me His grace and His faithfulness to His promises. In just a month, I got two things in a row now connected to my name: Aireen Pardillo – “DE LARA”, “RPm”. 

To my friends who were not able to pass the exam, may you hold on to your hopes and continue to strive hard. God bless us all! 

(Aireen is 26 years old, with a degree in BS in Psychology from Holy Cross of Davao College, batch 2009. She is currently working as a Psychometrician in a private testing center in Davao City.  Among the great psychologists, she both like Carl Rogers and Maslow. Aireen enjoys reading detective stories, sometimes playing DOTA as a stress-busting hobby. Her plan for the future is to finish masters degree by 2015 and take up the board exam for psychologists.)

Never Losing Hope

Never Losing Hope

by Irene Victoria F. Gabiana 

Notre Dame University 

Cotabato City

I was one of the test-takers of BLEPP specifically for Psychometricians. I am a fresh March 2014 graduate of Notre Dame University, holding a Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology. I’m from the province of Cotabato City which made my preparations longer because of many factors i.e. getting the CAV from Marbel which is a three to four hour bus ride away, applying to PRC Davao, and flying to Manila. In short, it was a bit expensive and time-consuming but it made me really want to pass the board exam.

I was a self-reviewer. I tried to think of many strategies in order to finish my review within six months’ time. Having only the PRC table of  specifications and a more detailed outline, I found it stressful. The problem

lay not in the lack of resource materials, but the large number of it (books, notes, online resources such as youtube videos, quizzes, and reviewers). In short, I was overwhelmed. As a self-reviewer, I began to think that it was better to read as much as I can. That proved to be futile, because I wasn’t able to finish my tasks and I couldn’t remember most of what I’ve read. And more importantly, I did not have an efficient guide that will prepare me for the exam. I saw the importance of review centers for future examinations. I realized that it is better to find a useful reviewer online. There are no reviewers available in any stores yet, and if ever, they won’t be outcome-based because BLEPP is the first PRC outcome-based assessment board examination in Philippine history.

It was my first board exam experience and I was glad that I familiarized myself on the requirements of PRC because I felt ready for what I must do during the exam. I felt grateful for all the resources and links that psychometricpinas.blogspot.com posted for free access to online materials. They helped me review and retain information. 

The exam proper was nerve-wracking because it was what I had anticipated for for six months and it was that moment where I can determine how much my preparations will pay off. For the non-disclosure oath, I won’t share any of the test items nor the choices, rather I will share my opinions on the test material. It was difficult. I hold a bachelor’s degree in Psychology but I am without enough hands on experience in psychometrics and the other three subjects, and most of the items demand skills in applying the theories on different situations. What I did have was an introduction on psychological testing/assessment and the other three subjects, and an on-the-job training at our guidance and testing center. 

However, I still lacked the practical knowledge that I needed. I did not pass the exam, but along the way I can honestly say that me failing the exam made me see the vast number of opportunities within my reach to further my journey into becoming a licensed psychologist and psychometrician. The BLEPP is indeed a rare occurrence in a person’s life. It takes a lot of preparation and good faith for someone to pass the exam. Luck must also be a factor in the whole thing - even a few brilliant test-takers who took the exam did not pass, but hope springs. 

In conclusion, I am happy to be part of the first batch of BLEPP. The experience was worth all the hard work. And one thing I must add: Never lose hope. There’s a time for everything, especially passing the board exam. *wink*

November 11, 2014

7:20 PM

Si Icasiam ay si Ikapito rin!

Si Icasiam ay si Ikapito rin!

ni Herwin E. Icasiam
4:05 AM
November 10, 2014
Sa aking kwarto

Ako si Herwin E. Icasiam, 21 na taong gulang at isa sa mga pinalad na makapasa sa Psychometrician Board Exam. Nais ko lamang ibahagi ang mala- “roller coaster ride” kong istorya bago ako makapasa.

Bago pa man ako tumuntong ng kolehiyo, naranasan ko ang isa sa pinakamalungkot na pangyayari sa aking buhay. Hindi ako nakadalo sa graduation exercises namin noong high school at muntik pa akong hini maka-graduate dahil sa mga pansariling pinagdaraanan. Sobra akong nalugmok noon na para bang wala nang kinabukasang patutunguhan. Mapalad pa rin ako at biniyayaan ako ng isang pamilya at mga totoong kaibigan na tumulong sa akin upang muling bumangon sa pagkadarapa. Sila ang mga taong nagtulak sa akin upang mag-aral muli at kumuha ng kurso sa kolehiyo. Pinalad akong makapasa sa pagsusulit sa Unibersidad ng Pilipinas ngunit nahuli ako sap ag-aasikaso ng mga kinakailangan dokumento dahil sa mga oras ding iyon, hindi ko pa talaga mapagtanto ang mga gagawin sa buhay ko.

Hunyo ng taong 2010 nang yayain ako ng isang malapit na kaibigan (Jayven Bernardino) upang magpalista sa isang unibersidad sa lalawigan ng Quezon (SLSU). Pagdating naming doon, napag-alaman naming wala nang bakante sa halos lahat ng mga kurso sa College of Arts and Sciences (hindi pa namain alam noon na marami pa palang ibang colleges o departments maliban sa CAS). Ang natitra na lamang ay Agriculture at Forestry. Dahil hindi pa rin namin mawari kung ano talaga ang aming gusting kurso, isinulat na lang naming ang mga nasabing courses na may slots pa. Habnag papunta sa isang building para isumite ang mga requirements, may nakausap kaming isang guro na sinabing maaari pa raw magpalista sa kursong Sikolohiya. Sabi namin pareho, “Ano baa ng Psychology? Mukahang maganda naman pakinggan kaya ito na lang ang ilagay natin na course!” Dito na nagsimula ang aking relasyon sa Sikolohiya. Dito ko natutunan na ang pagpasok sa kolehiyo ay isang malaking tandang pananong at kahit gaano pa ka-aksidente ang kursong iyong napili, darating ang panahon na matututunan mo itong mahalin at pahalagahan.

Nagtagal ako ng isang semester sa SLSU. Nakatagpo ako ngmga bagong kaibigan at nagkaroon ng ika nga “puppy love” na pagtutunguhan sa Sikolohiya. Gayunpaman, napagkasunduan namin ng aking mga magulang na lumipat sa Laguna College (Siyudad ng San Pablo) nang sa gayo’y mas malapit ako sa lugar na kanilang pinagtatrabahuhan. Nasa tanggapan ako noon ng kolehiyong aking lilipatan nang tanungin ako’y tanungin kung anong nais kong kursonng kunin. Nakatapos na rin naman ako ng isang sem sa kurssong Sikolohiya kaya’t ninais kong ipagpatuloy na lamang ito. 

Unang linggo ko sa Laguna College nang aking malaman na ang kinukuha kong kurso ay bago’t papasibol pa lamang sa kolehiyong iyon (pangalawang batch kami). Kaya naman, hindi hihigit sa dalawampu ang mga mag-aaral na kumukuha nito. Ganoon pa man, mas pinili kong manatili sa kursong ito sa paniniwalang Malaki ang maitutulong nito sa akin. Lalo pang umigting ang aking pagkagusto sa Sikolohiya nang aming talakayin ang asignaturang “Theories of Personality” kung saan natuklasan kong ang mga nagtaguyod at sumikat sa larangan na ito ay kapwa may kanyang-kanyang dagok ring naranasan noong kanilang kabataan. Nagsilbing lundayan ang kanilang mga kwento upang pagningasin ang akin malungkot na karanasan sa isang makislap na kinabukasan. Ito ang nagtulak rin sa akin upang pag-ibayuhin ang pag-aaral.

From left to right: Tricia Ann Villanueva, Krizza Tan, RPm;
Mia Bisa, RPm; Herwin Icasiam, RPm

Lumipas ang apat na taon ng pagsusumikap, mga taong puno ng paghihirap at yaong galak. Nakatutuwang isipin na tapos na ang mga panahong nag-aaral ka sa dyip habang halos dalawang oras ka nagbibyahe makapasok lang sa paaralan. Ang mg oras ng pagpupuyat, pagninilay-nilay, at pagsusunog ng kilay ay nagbunga na! Naitawid at natapos ko rin ang kursong Sikolohiya! Tila hindi pa nahinto ang pagkakaloob sa akin ng Panginoon sapagkat pinalad pa akong makapagtapos nang may karangalan sa aking kolehiyo. Hindi mapagsidlan ang aking kasiyahan dahil sa loob ng walong taong paghihintay, ako’y muling nakamartsa suot-suot ang toga. Ramdam ko ang kagalakang nadama ng aking mga minamahal sa araw na ibinibigay ko ang petisyong pananalita. Ngunit sabi nga nila, ang pagtatapos ay isa ring panimula, isang pagbubukas ng pinto para sa mas mabigat na hamon ng buhay. 

“UNEMPLOYED”, salitang bumagabag sa akin ilang buwan makaraan ang aming graduation. Marami naman akong plano sa buhay at alam ko na naman ang aking mga gusto ngunit hindi ko alam kung paano ko sisimulan. Hanggang isang araw, napagkasunduan naming apat (Mia, Krizza, at Nelson) na maglakas-loob na kumuha ng Psychometrician Board Exam. Naisipan din naming na maghanap ng review center bilang paghahanda sa pagsusulit. Nahirapan kami maghanap ngunit buti na lang natanggap kami sa SPARK (waitlisted kami). 

Bago pa man mag-review, naiingit ako sa mga ka-batch ko na may trabaho  habang ako, “nga nga” pa rin sa bahay. Ganon pa man, pinayuhan ako ng aking mga magulang na mag-focus muna ako sa review at saka na muna maghanap ng trabaho dahil ayaw na nila maulit pa ang nangyari sa akin noong high school. May kaunting kirot man sa puso, hindi ko muna tinaggap ang ilang mga alok sa akin sa trabaho. Naniwala ako sa aking mga magulang at sinabi ko sa aking sarili na, “Kaunting sakripisyo muna at ilang buwan lamang ang pagtitiyagaan ko ay magkakatrabaho na rin ako!” 

Naging buo ang aking loob na magpursigi sa pagrereview gaya ng aking pagsusumikap noong kolehiyo. Ngayon naman, “PRESSURE” ang salitang di mawaglit sa aking isipan. Pressure dahil minsa’y ninais kong maihanay ang pangalan ng aming kolehiyo sa TOP 10 at pressure dahil ayokong bumagsak. Pinili kong huwag pangibabawan ng negatibong pag-iisip kaya ginawa kong “chill” ang pagrereview. Ganon pa man, dumating ako sa punto na halos hindi ko na masunod ang schedule ng pag-aaral. Napadalas din ang paglabas-labas  at pagliliwaliw kasama ang mga kaibigan, napatuon ang aking atensyon sa pakikipagchat at pakikipag-text. Nawalan talaga ako ng focus sa pagrereview. Dumating din sa punto na yung mga kaibigan ko (Lalo na si Lisette at Charisse) ay kinukuha na nag aking cell phone at ayaw na makipagkita sa akin dahil gusto nila na magreview ako. Lahat ng payo ay binigay nila para lang tumimo sa aking isip na kailangan ko na mag-aral talaga. Umaabot ako ng alas-Siyete ng umaga na gising pa at walang tulog na wala akong ginagawa kundi magbabad sa TV, cell phone, at computer. 

Napagtanto ko lamang na magseryoso na noong nagkarron kami ng Achievement exam sa SPARK. Halos manghula talaga ako dahil hindi ko alam yung mga sagot sa pagsusulit. Syempre, bumagsak ako at nadismaya pero hindi ako nawalan ng pag-asa at mas nabuhayan pa ng loob na mag-aral nang mabuti. Gumawa ulit ako ng panibagong schedule. Lunes hanggang Biyernes ay nag-self review ako. Tuwing Sabado naman ay lumuluwas ako ng QC para mag-aral sa SPARK. Itinaon ko namang araw ng Linggo ay “chill” at “cheat” day! 

Naging maayos naman ang unang buwan ko ng pagrereview pero heto na naman ang kampon ng katamaran at muli na naman akong nabihag sa buslo ni Juan Tamad. Hindi Hindi ko na naman nasunod ang schedule. Umabot pa nga ako sa punto na makiki-seat in ako sa UPLB, kasama ang mga kaibigan kong doon nag-aaral (Ameenah, Carol, at Tetet), dahil tinatamad ako magreview at gusto ko lang mag-ubos ng oras. 

Habang papalapit nang papalapit ang araw ng totoong pagsusulit ay papalayo nang papalayo ang tsanya ng aking pagpasa. BUMAGSAK AKO SA PRE-BOARD (Theories of Personality lang ang naipasa ko). Nawawalan na ako ng pag-asa talaga noon. Inisip ko nga na hindi na talaga ako papasa kasi kulang na kulang pa talaga ang inaral ko. Dalawang linggo na lamang ang natititra, hindi na ako nagpatinag kahit “CRAMMING” na, aral, basa, aral, basa, aral, na talaga ako. Daig ko pa ang Fast and Furious 6 sa bilis ko sa pagbabasa. Sinugurado ko na sa loob ng dalawang linggo ay naintindihan ko nang lubos ang mga aklat at handouts na aking binasa. Tinanong pa ako ng aking mama kung kaya ko ba daw ba? Ang sabi ko, parang babagsak ako sa exam. Ang sabi niya, “Okay lang yan anak, at least na-experience mo.” May punto ang aking nanay kaya mas ginanahan ako mag-aral dahil para sa kanila itong ginagawa ko. Doon ko rin nabuo ang motto na, “Hindi sa haba ng review nasusukat ang pagpasa kundi sa lalim ng iyong ginawang pag-aaral.”

Tatlo o apat na araw na lang ay “JUDGEMENT DAY” na, hindi na ako mapakali. Sinabi ko sa sarili ko na ayoko na magreview at masakit na sa hippocampus. Kaya naman, pinilit ko na lang mag-“chill” ulit. Pero sa totoo lang, kabadong-kabado na ako. Lahat na ng santo at santa ay dinasalan ko at maraming simbahan ang aking pinuntahan. Sa mga nalalabing araw na iyon, tanging dasal na lang talaga ang aking nagging sandigan. 

Dumating na ang unang araw ng exam at hindi ako nilubayan ng kamalasan. Dahil sa kaba, halos nabutas ko yung information sheet ko kasi napadiin ang pagsusulat ko ng pangalan. Nagkamali pa ako ng paglalagay ng subject heading sa answer sheet kasi dapat sa huling page magsisimula. Sinabihan pa ako ng proctor naming na, “Toy, relax lang.” Sa loob loob ko, sobra talaga akong kinakabahan at hindi ko nagustuhan ang pagtawag niya sa akin ng “Toy” (Kung “Nene pa yon, pde pa! HAHA). Nang ibigay na ang test questions, nagsimula na ako magsagot at magsimula ring mabura. Hindi ko napansin na “Strictly no erasures” pala kaya lalo ako kinabahan na baka ma-invalid ang answer sheet ko. Dahil sa hirap ng exam tapos hinaluan pa ng kaba, hindi ko na alam kung maipapasa ko baa ng exam pero pinilit kong sagutan lahat, intindihin ang mga tanong, guhitan at bilugan ang mga keywords, at mag-eliminate ng choices. Kung makikita niyo ang test questionnaires ko, sobrang dumi dahil sa guhit at bilog at kung anu-ano pang sulat. 

Dalawang araw ng pakikipaglaban sa pagpasa at ito’y hindi nagging madali para sa akin. Sadyang naging mapagbigay ang kapalaran sa isang taong tulad ko na tanging pagsusumikap at dasal ang naging sandata. Maraming maraming salamat sa aking pamilya, mga kabigan, mga guro, at sa mga institusyong aking kinabilanagn (SCES, PGMNHS, SLSU, LAGUNA COLLEGE, BIR, IRRI, Kidscove International), na tumulong at nagpatibay sa aking kaalaman at pagkatao. Higit sa lahat, tigib ang aking pasasalamat sa Panginoong Maykapal na hindi-hindi ako iniwan mula sa pinakamadilim hanggang sa pinakamaliwanag na bahagi ng aking buhay. 

Ngayon, masasabi ko na nga na si Icasiam ay si Ikapito na rin! 

Sa panulat ni:

Herwin E. Icasiam
Bachelor of Science in Psychology
Laguna College (Batch 2014)